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Affordable Boatbuilding Act

On November 8, 2013, in Boatbuilding Humor, News From Gayle, by Gayle Brantuk

The U.S. government has just passed a new law called: “The Affordable Boatbuilding Act” declaring that every citizen MUST build a boat, by April 2014. These “affordable” boats must cost an average of $54,000 – $155,000 each, so no skimping on cheap materials. This does not include taxes, trailers, towing fees, licensing and registration fees, fuel, docking and storage fees, maintenance or repair costs.

This law has been passed, because until now, typically only those with DIY skills and financially responsible people have been able to build boats. This new law ensures that every American can now have an “affordable” boat of their own, because everyone is entitled to a new boat. If you build your boat before the end of the year, you will receive 4 “free” life jackets; not including monthly usage fees.

In order to make sure everyone builds an “affordable” boat, the costs of owning a boat will increase on an average of 250-400% per year. This way, wealthy people will pay more for something that other people don’t want or can’t afford to maintain. But to be fair, people who can’t afford to maintain their boat will be regularly fined, and children (under the age of 26) can use their parents boats to party on until they turn 27; then must build their own boat.

Failure to use the boat will also result in fines. People living in the desert, ghettos, inner cities or areas with no access to lakes are not exempt. Age, motion sickness, experience, knowledge, nor lack of desire are acceptable excuses for not using your boat.

A government review board (that doesn’t know the difference between the port, starboard or stern of a boat) will decide everything, including; when, where, how often and for what purposes you can use your boat along with how many people can ride in your boat, and determine if one is too old or healthy enough to be able to use their boat. They will also decide if your boat has outlived its usefulness, or if you must purchase specific accessories (like a $500 compass), or build a more expensive boat. Those who can afford to build yachts will be required to do so…it’s only fair. The government will also decide the name for each boat. Failure to comply with these rules will result in fines and possible imprisonment.

Government officials are exempt from this new law. If they want a boat, they and their families can obtain boats free, by requiring taxpayers to build them for them. Unions, bankers and mega companies with large political affiliations are exempt.

Good news! You can utilize the Glen-L website to purchase plans and materials to build your affordable boat and the website will actually work!


Your Thoughts?

2 Responses to Affordable Boatbuilding Act

  1. rodel t. faustino says:

    Happy to hear about the new law…about owning a boat for every US citizen..
    I email to you..just to know when will you offer a holiday sale boat plan this holiday season….
    Thanks, rodel
    Not a US citizen.

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