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During his first three years of marriage, Frank — a multiple-time Boatbuilder — tackled several new boat projects. At first, Frank’s wife Pat loved how the boats looked (without a great deal of cost) and especially enjoyed riding in them on the water.

But Pat gradually realized she was lonely and increasingly frustrated that she had, in effect, lost her man to his passion for projects. After Frank forgot their fourth anniversary, Pat announced that she had enrolled them in a Marriage Weekend.

During the weekend, Frank tried to listen to the instructor, but Pat noticed that he’d often nod off or doodle on boat project plans on the back of his handouts. “It’s essential,” said the instructor, “that spouses know what’s important to each other. So men, can you name and describe your wife’s favorite flower?”

Frank leaned over, touched Pat’s arm gently and whispered, “Gold Medal All-Purpose, isn’t it?”

Thus began Frank’s life of celibacy.


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